Mistakes Were Made
by Lindoreda
Summary: A collection of short character-insight drabbles, all based in the canon. Contains one-sided Soriku in the first story, the rest focus on family and friendship.
1. That Summer Day

AN: I'm back, and this time with a series of short character-insight drabbles. They'll be published as different chapters of the same story because they're all very short. First up is Riku, whose drabble was inspired by the song Kimi no shiranai monogatari, or, The Story You Don't Know by Supercell. I suggest you listen to it. It's a really good song, though you'll probably need to read the translation.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the song that I got the idea from.

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One day a summer or two ago, Sora suddenly had an idea.

"Let's go stargazing tonight!" He sounded so excited, as if we hadn't done it hundreds of times before.

"You get good ideas once in a while, huh?" Even though we'd done it hundreds of times before, Sora's excitement was infectious. It always has been. I can't say no to him.

Before long, we were surrounded by the darkness, but above us the sky was so full that it looked like it was raining stars. A meteor shower, I realized. Today was special. Different. Like the two of us, since Kairi came.

I wondered, how long had things been different? Was it really Kairi that changed everything, that made me realize that I stopped seeing Sora as just a friend? When did Sora become the starry sky in my dark world?

Would he be surprised if I told him? Probably. We're best friends. And we always will be. That's what we decided. Nothing can change that.

"There's Deneb, Altair and Vega." Sora pointed at each star in the summer triangle, smiling slightly with pride.

"Where'd you learn that? I bet you're pointing in the wrong direction." I expected Sora to get flustered or angry, but he just grinned.

"I know I'm right."

Where'd that confidence come from? Sora's always been… no. Sora's actually the confident one. I'm the one who relies on him. I want to become stronger. I want Sora to rely on me. I've always wanted him to rely on me. I've always wanted him to need me, like I need him. But… he probably never will. Sora's always been the type to draw people in. He makes friends easily. He wouldn't miss one.

I love you Sora. I always have. But it's no use. I act like I don't care, but that's not true. Every day, the pain in my chest grows. I'm afraid that you'll leave me behind. You won't, though, as long as I don't tell you. It's enough if we're always together. Friends forever, right?

I didn't tell him. I couldn't. And now I'll never get another chance without screwing everything up.

I still remember that summer day, and that starry sky. They're all burned into my memory, like Sora's smile. No matter what happens, this will be the secret I never tell you. I'll always treasure the memory of that night, where you pointed, and, with an innocent voice…


	2. Father

AN: Second one belongs to Zexion, though it's probably a different Zexy than you're used to. It was inspired by what little I know about Ienzo and Ansem's relationship in birth by sleep, and by a screenshot from the secret ending that Niffstral sent me. There aren't really any spoilers (nothing about the main plot anyway, since I don't know about that myself), so enjoy without fear!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

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I no longer remember my birth father. Perhaps I would recognize his face if I saw him, or his voice if I heard it, but at present I remember neither. Given that he is no longer among the living, seeing his face and hearing his voice are both highly improbable. He died when I was very young, and is no more than a stranger to me. A phantom, just like my mother.

I remember a great deal about the man who raised me: my true father. I remember ice cream, walking hand-in-hand, and amber eyes that could turn from stony to warm when they met mine. I remember a wide, warm lap, difficult books, and hiding out in the library. Those bookcases can trouble some of the great scientific minds of Radiant Garden when they want to. I remember smiles and words of praise, back-patting and hair-ruffling. I remember the warmth on my head after my hair was ruffled. I remember, "go to sleep," and "I'll be here when you wake up."

I never had any of those things with my birth father. That is not his fault, I suppose, but memories are all we Nobodies have. Lacking those, his only apparent contribution to my life was just that: my life.

The man who raised me gave me the confidence to speak and taught me how to think. Without those things, my careers as the youngest apprentice and the youngest member of the Organization (until number XIII came, anyway) would both have been very short-lived. I suppose my time as an apprentice was a bit short as it was, but that was my own fault. It was a mistake. A miscalculation.

I didn't believe them when they said he would build it if I were the one to ask.

I didn't fully understand the consequences of what we were doing. I was just happy to have a new toy. I'm sorry, Father, or I would be sorry if I could put my heart in it, anyway. I betrayed you for such a paltry thing. I would have regretted it every day of my life, if I were still capable of regret, and if I could call this truly living.

Is it irony or poetic justice that I lost my heart to this new toy, only to lose my nonexistence to one of Vexen's toys? If you add in the psychotic, scheming, redhead, I suspect both irony and poetic justice are present somehow.

My true father was a well-respected man. A great man. A wise man. Regardless of what Xemnas may say, I know that to be true.

Father, is there any way that you'll ever forgive me?

No. It's too late. I should have known that. The day I took the name "Zexion," it became too late. Ienzo is the one you know and love. The one who loves you. The one you can forgive. The one you probably forgave a long time ago. DiZ and Zexion have never met, and never will meet. They never can. Zexion is gone. Dead, if Nobodies die.

I'm afraid. Afraid of dying. I shouldn't be able to feel fear. I know that. It's probably just a memory of the fear I once had. It's not real. I can't really feel it.

But…

Father, would you mind if I pretend that you're here beside me, holding my hand like you used to?


	3. Poppet

AN: On Niffstral's suggestion, the third drabble is Xion's. I know a lot of people dislike her. That's why I wrote it. Xion's focuses largely on the theme of existence, and also friendship. Thanks for all the reviews so far. You guys are so nice. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

I was never meant to exist. That's not really all that unique, though. No one in Organization XIII was meant to exist. When their original selves lost their hearts, they never expected to be reborn, even if that rebirth was missing something. They expected to die. Some of them probably think death would've been better than the way they're living now. But I guess what makes them different from me is that there was a time when they were supposed to exist. There was a time when someone agreed with them, and thought that their existence had value, merely because they existed.

I wasn't born into value like them. I was made. A doll. A puppet. A replica, created only to absorb the power of the keyblade. My existence is valuable only as long as I can collect hearts. I don't need a past, a personality, or even a face of my own. Those things were all stolen from other people. People with hearts, who are allowed to live without having to prove that their existence is worthwhile. Sora, Kairi and Riku.

So really, the person that I became after I was exposed to Roxas isn't really me. Because I, Xion, am a doll without memories or thoughts of my own. The replica known as Xion, or No. i, wasn't supposed to develop a personality. I wasn't supposed to learn to think for myself. No one, not even the ones who created me, wanted that for me. In that way, a replica like me is even more of a Nobody than the real Nobodies, because not even they will acknowledge my existence. They're part of the cycle that they hate. Those with hearts look down on them and deny their existence, and they look down on me and deny mine. I'm at the very bottom. So really, why should I have regrets, or doubt what I need to do? This Xion wasn't supposed to exist, exists only to suffer and be abused, and when I'm gone, no one will even know that she existed at all. No one will miss me.

I should be grateful. I lived for 350 days, and I had a mind and personality for most of that time. I had friends who cared about me and worried when I was gone. I saw so many sunsets. I ate so much ice cream. I laughed alongside people who thought that my existence, as flimsy as it is, had more value than just a doll who uses the keyblade. I'll cherish these things forever, and I can leave without worrying, because Axel and Roxas will forget all the trouble that my being beside them caused. They'll be better off.

I know all that. It's what Riku told me. There's someone who needs me in order to go on, needs me more than Axel and Roxas. I'm grateful for that. I'm glad that someone genuinely needs me. But… if that's really true, why do I feel so sad?

No, that's wrong. Am I capable of feeling sad? Does someone like me have real feelings, or are they even more fake and shallow than the memories of feelings that the Nobodies have? Is my desire to protect Axel and Roxas real? Is it something that I want, or does it come from someone else?

I guess, I don't know. I'd have to ask Axel, since he knows a bit about replicas. But it's too late for that now. I'm no longer someone who can ask him for help.


	4. Why the Sun Sets Red

AN: And here's the last drabble that I've got at the moment, though I might add more later. This one is Roxas's, and I pretty much wrote it for the last line, so keep that in mind. Thanks again to the reviewers, you guys are great. :) Here's Why The Sun Sets Red.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

I don't really like this world. Or, any world, I guess. There's so much conflict. So many misunderstandings and broken promises. So many things that go unsaid. So many friends torn apart by circumstances beyond their control. So many people who can't face their loved ones anymore. So many people who never even get a chance to live. There's just so much that's wrong with the worlds.

I used to just accept those problems. I didn't know that it could be different. Maybe I didn't even know that they were problems. I only knew what was right in front of me. As it turns out, that was Axel. If it had been Xigbar or Xaldin, maybe I wouldn't have changed. Maybe I wouldn't have wanted anything to change. But, Axel… There was a look in his eyes that he'd get when he'd mention having a heart… I knew he was remembering his life before. That look told me that getting our hearts back would make everything better… and it told me that things weren't okay as they were. Our lives could be better. Axel's had been, before. The heart is what makes the difference.

But it isn't, really. Those with hearts still have the same problems. They still fight each other. They still misunderstand and hurt the ones they care about. They still don't say what needs to be said until it's too late. They still lose their friends. They can make mistakes. Their lives can be cut short. The difference is that they can feel their loss. Especially if they end up like us.

We only made the problem worse. Our desire for hearts only added to the conflict in the worlds. And I started to wonder, is a heart really the answer? Xion and I didn't get it. Were hearts really worth all of this? Were they worth the lies and sacrifices? In Axel's case, were the memories of the distant past worth more than the recent ones?

I didn't have a past. My memories with Axel and Xion were all I had. The clock tower and sea salt ice cream were all that my life amounted to. Axel's promises of a better life, of a better world, made me want more than that idyllic, monotonous life. They made me see the ugliness of the world and all the people in it. Xemnas's indifference, Saix's cruelty, Demyx and Xigbar's insensitivity, Axel's lies and Xion's indecision all seemed like the darkest parts of a dark world. I hated my life. I hated the world. I just wanted to be normal.

But, ya know? I don't feel that way anymore. My life was great. I mean, I had an awful job, with really nasty coworkers and the bipolar boss from hell, but that's not much worse than most people. And there was always the icing on the cake, even if I had to enjoy it alone sometimes. At least I had friends. I was just too busy chasing one of them to see what I was doing to the other.

Heh. Why does _that_ sound familiar?

If there were some way to get that all back, as imperfect and founded on lies as it was, I would do it. I would trade all the weeks in a fake Twilight Town in the world for that. Just for a single day, like it used to be. But… that's why I don't like this world, or any other: there are no second chances. The three of us can't be together again until the next life.

But, even when I was in the fake Twilight Town, and they'd taken all of my memories away… when I didn't recognize Axel, or know our boss's name… there were two things that I remembered. Two things that, despite the cruelty of the worlds, I can never forget: the taste of sea salt ice cream, and why the sun sets red.


	5. Son

AN: Oh look, I'm updating this. This one is about Ansem the Wise, a fairly contentious character in the fandom I know, but there's a line of his that inspired this. He tells Mickey that his apprentices took everything from him, and I always wanted to add "including themselves." So, here's my interpretation of Ansem the Wise, called Son.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

* * *

I believe in the value of hard work. Everything I had at the height of my career – my lab, my position of power, my title, and my apprentices – were awarded to me because of a long life of working hard. My life was proof that with hard work, one could achieve anything. If I rested a little, sitting complacently in my office while others hurried and scurried about, was it not my right after years without a moment to breathe?

For so long, my career was my only concern. When I finally achieved all that I'd wanted to achieve, I found that I had grown old in the process. Old, and alone, for my obsession with the pursuit of knowledge had driven away everyone that I had ever cared about. Because of my dream of being a noteworthy, respected scientist, the dream of being a husband and father was now out of reach.

Until Ienzo came. A small, silent boy, orphaned by the strange creatures that freely roamed the worlds. Though he spoke infrequently at first, his intelligence and thirst for knowledge was evident. He quickly immersed himself in books that were almost as large as he, barricading himself in the library for days at a time. Despite this, I had only to look at him to remember that he was a child, and a child who had lost his parents. It wasn't healthy for him to live this way.

I gave him boundaries and rules, like any other child would have. Meals are at precisely these times. Bedtime is no later than 8 pm. No eating or sleeping in the library, unless that sleeping is a daytime nap. Though perhaps he needed these rules, I was using Ienzo to act out my dream of being a father, and I suspect he knew. He fought me at first, resistant of being treated like the child he was, but he gave in after his first bar of sea salt ice cream. Perhaps, as a parentless child, he subconsciously sought a guardian, and I was the only one eager to fill that role. He began taking my hand when we would walk together, his face never changing expression.

With every accomplishment Ienzo achieved, I felt a strong sense of pride. I allowed myself, most arrogantly, to think of him as my son. I wanted to give him everything, and this rubbed off on my other apprentices as well. They were all dear to me, in the most arrogant, self-serving way that someone can be dear to you. Perhaps I should not have been surprised that they did not listen to me when I ordered the new lab destroyed. They must have resented being ordered about by a lonely old man.

I should never have built that lab. It destroyed our peace. Ienzo wanted it so much, and I wanted to give it to him. It was my foolish desire to be an indulgent father that ruined us all, and yet I spent so much time obsessed with thoughts of revenge. Surely Xehanort set out to replace me in this world, but what of the others? Ienzo, seeking the approval of his peers, may have been as much of a victim as I. It took me so long to even admit to that possibility. I hated all of them, for taking from me what I worked so hard for, and gave up everything else for. I hated them, for taking themselves from me, for making themselves into detestable creatures, the kind of abomination we would have examined in the lab. I could have forgiven them, had they still possessed the heart to accept that forgiveness.

I thought revenge would be a fairly simple matter. I hated them from the bottom of my heart, so why should I hesitate to destroy them? That was what I thought until I saw their faces in Castle Oblivion. The differences were so slight that I scarcely believed they were no longer human. I couldn't do it myself, I realized. I lacked the emptiness of heart required to put the creature that was once Ienzo to death. Ienzo was my son, and whatever he had become, I loved him.

I could not abandon revenge. When Ienzo's Nobody faded away, the target of my revenge merely became clearer: I had to destroy the one who robbed my son of his heart, and the organization he created. Once that was done, there would be nothing left except to join my son.

For every task, there is the perfect tool. For every lock, the perfect key. The keyblade opens all locks, without exception.


End file.
